Sex, Lies, and STD's

Bare with me cause I'm doing this from my phone .....

Things got really interesting when I honestly made the decision to leave basketball alone..... I'm on a road trip headed out to see my new boo and I get a phone call; it's none other than basketball asking me where I was cause he really wanted to see me and to talk. I told him I was out of town and he proceeded to pry for information.

Him: oh you with your family?
Me: no
Him: you going to visit family?
Me: NO
Him: Oh. You must be going to see a nigga then....
Me: Why does who I'm going to matter? That should be the least of your worries...
Him: Shiiiiitttt why you gotta attitude. I was trying to tell you some good news
Me: What's the "good" news?
Him: We can be together for real now.......I got a divorce!


Now Basketball and I hadn't talked in over 6months,, so did he really think I was sitting around waiting on him to call and tell me that and I was going to jump for joy and run straight into his arms??????? Sadly,, I think he did.

Of course I asked "what happened" and here's what he said: "maaan I caught her cheating on me!" **of course my face was like o_O** "she caught something and tried to put it off on me,, but when I went to get tested I came out clean,, not too mention we hadn't had sex in over 3months. So I just flat out asked her  what she had been doing and she broke down and told me that she had been sleeping with some dude...." I was in total shock and I was thanking the Lord above that I had stopped fooling with him when I did.... I mean think about it....If his wife was screwing this random nigga,, who was sleeping with whoever he wanted and not using anything with them or her,, she go home and screw Basketball and then he gets the green light to come screw me... we ALL would've been fucked up!!!!!!!!! 

But I did have to tell him he couldn't be too mad because he was soing the same thing to her before he met me and when he met me,, he just didn't get caught. He then went on this big spill about how he didn't have any respect for her because she a hoe now and all this other bull.....his ego was just severely bruised. After getting that story I just told him that I had moved on and I wasn't trying to go back down that route with him. Plus,, Basketball ain't got shit going for himself......just got a cell phone,, no car,, no place to stay for real. He just wasn't trying to move ahead in life. It's like he's perfectly content with being a bum and i just don't have time for that. 

He did seem a bit salty when I told I had moved on and I really was feeling this new guy. He just kept pushing "when you get back in town come see me,, I really just want to be with you." I just said okay and proceeded to see my new boo ( I gotta tell yall about that!!!!!! ooooh weeee!!!!) 

Needless to say He didn't even give me a chance to call when I got home,, he was blowing up my phone pretty much the whole day. I never went to see him tho. I think by now he's gotten the picture because I haven't heard from him. But, that doesn't mean he won't pop up out the blue again and try to "seduce me again....Ha!! Seduce me.....that's funny.

Well, well, well....looky looky!

Man oh man I have been gone a minute huh? So much has happened to me I don't even know where to begin.....

 In a nutshell,, I met someone,, I'm finally over Basketball,, Trouble and I still kinda hang out......well I wouldn't say "hang out" we still bang from time to time. But, not as much as before. Basketball got a divorce. My sister is getting married! I think I kinda want to have sex with one of my co-workers. I had a threesome......Ummmmmm wow there are so many things I need to get out !!!!! Ugh!!!! why have i stayed away so long??????

Anyway, I had to go back thru my posts just to see where I left off at.... and let me just say shit got real REAL fast. So the last thing I talked about was almost getting Pregnant by Basketball. Well after that I just slowly started distancing myself from him. To filter out my time I started to get close with a friend of my cousin,, but in the end he rebuffed my affection so I was back to square one.....alone with literally no one to talk to. My best friend was all boo'd up so she was M.I.A. for sure and I was just......niggaless. 

I met a few "2 pump Johnny's" but no one really had any substance so conversation didn't last long. After being fired **yeah I got fired from my last job,, not sure if I told ya'll or not** I found another job; so I got a clean slate as far sleeping with my co-workers. But that slate didn't stay clean for long. I met a construction worker and he and I got a little too flirty.....let's just say we got caught making out in the bathroom **shrugs** I talked to him for a little while after that incident but all he wanted was sex and I just wasn't down for that,, plus he was living with his baby momma.

Over time at my job me and one co-worker in particular have gotten extremely close... we can talk to each other about anything... we text every single day. I'm not attracted to him in any way but I am curious about "what that mouth do".

Moving along,, after my fling with the construction dude I was back niggaless,, so reluctantly I went back to online dating.....that's where I met the couple I ended up having threesome with. I'll say it was ok,, I don't get what the hype is about it. Nevertheless it was something to do. fortunately it didn't last long.... the guy really started to bug the hell out of me and wanted me to come over when his girl wasn't there. I wasn't falling for that trap tho. I quickly shut that down but I got even luckier with that whole situation... they ended up moving out of state. I still here from the dude every now then asking me to come visit. 

So now I'm back to square one again and I'm lonely as hell!!!!! What happens to  make me even more lonely??????????? My freaking sister gets engaged!!!!!!! SO NOW I'm the single sister,, not just "the one that has the baby". Don't get me wrong...... I'm happy for her and all but now I just feel even more pathetic. I was the one between the two of us that always had a man or was always talking to somebody and she was the single one,, now the roles have been reversed and quite frankly I don't like it... 

Nigga, you owe me $43.56!!!

The "morning after pill" is my first and last purchase when it comes to that caught up in the moment talk during sex.

 I am serious when I say I am done fooling around with Basketball (even though he gives good head).......




The above is the last thing I wrote about 6-7months ago, and folks I can honestly say I left Basketball after that. The night We had that "baby scare" was the last time I allowed myself to be in contact with him.
The last time I heard anything about him I heard him and his wife got a divorce,  he has no car, and no cell phone..... so in a nutshell this nigga is doing bad.

I won't say my life has been on the up and up since our last encounter, but there have been a series of events. Both fortunate and unfortunate..... I will return more often to catch you guys back up.

Snapped!

I know I have been gone for a minute and so much has happened to me and my unfortunate pathetic little life.  I will say this though I've had alot (good and bad) going on... But any way let's get you guys caught up...........



SOOOOOOOOO the tension between me and my sister has finally boiled over,, and it resulted in not just a very heated argument, but an actual ghetto rachet fist fight........ and it all went down in front of my 2yr old!( well now she's 3, damn I let too much time pass, sorry y'all)
 The day started off regular, even good (dare I say) but as the day progressed and my sister and I grew tired of each others presence the attitudes began to wake from their slumber and slowly but surely make their way to the surface.  She came to the house with her little boyfriend which I will call Slave (cause that's how she treats him,, like a fuckin slave. But anyway....) We are all just chumming it up and talking my daughter is having the time of her little life cause all is hunky doory in the land of Oz. But then my sister began to make little snide comments on the sly about me and my short-comings.

*let me give you alittle background on me.. you see, I do not possess a good cleaning gene. Don't get me wrong I can clean up and keep things clean, but I don't have a little maid in me that has to clean ALL the time. Now my sister on the other hand she is a Molly Maid to the core, she will clean all day long and not see any problem with it.*

So she starts talking about how I don't clean like she does and that's the reason why I'm single and can't go out like I want to; and all this other bullshit. Now me being the person that I am, I'm really not giving her the reaction that she wants so she decides to just flat out dog me out.

My "sister" proceeds to basically call me a bad mother and says shit like "you don't have anybody" "you need me...I don't need you"....  Now deep down she's really hurting my feelings but I still don't say anything, which is bothering her even more. As I continue to just look at her as she dogs me out.... she jumps at me like she's gonna slap me or some shit. So I say "Oh! Since you're not getting to me, you gonna hit me?" That sends her off the edge and she reaches in and slaps me!!!!!!! I instantly BLACK OUT and just start throwing punches. I say we fought for a good 5 mins before my mom and Slave were able to pull us apart. But once I snap back into reality I hear my baby calling me.

I was so ashamed of myself and even more pissed at my sister because this all went down in front of my sweet baby girl. Once I calm myself down and try to get to my daughter I hear my sister say something along the lines of "I heard my knee cap crunch." Long story short with that she fractured her knee and ended up requiring surgery and getting 6 screws in her knee.

Now do I regret fighting like that with my sister???.......... Sorta. That fight between us was years of pent up tension that finally got released. I regret things happening in front of my baby though. I wish I could've shown more restraint for her sake.....

It happened....

It finally happened... Basketball and I finally did "it" and by "it" I mean we had sex....


For the most part it was ok, we couldn't really get down like we wanted to, but overall it was pretty good. Now was it worth the wait and all that flirting and sexual tension????? The jury is still out on that one. But I will give him credit.....he does give really good head.

To be honest I don't know what else o say about our encounter,, I mean I still love him and a part of me still wonders about what life would be like if we could actually be together, but now just add the fact that we had sex to the equation. I do think on his part he wants to have sex more often because he did say he wanted more, but I don't think I want to.....

I don't know what's gonna happen but we'll see....

Don't bring trouble to my door

I know I told you guys about the cutie I met at the bar the other night. Well that night I did unfortunately hook up with my neighbor (who's been lusting after me for years).... Anyway, let me just say that was truly a BAD idea!!!

So as I'm leaving the bar my phone goes off and it's..........Lame (cause he is rather lame). But anyway, he messages me thru facebook talking about how good I look and how he wants to sex it up,, well I had been drinking.....A LOT.....so I told him I was on my way home. When I pull up he's waiting for me, but before it could go down I had to piss like a race horse! But anyway, as I sat on the toilet and peed for what seemed like an eternity, I started to sober up or as my friends would say my conscience started to kick-in....

**side note** I can drink a lot but It doesn't matter how much I drink, when my conscience kicks in I automatically sober up. There have been times when I've had 20+ drinks and I walk out the club like all I had was water, because at some point my conscience is like "Aye bitch, you startin to get too loose...tighten that shit up" and I just snap out of it, I dunno what it is.... maybe I just have a moment of clarity BEFORE I do something regret??????? anywho, that's another post for another day......

But anyway, The flood gates are open and I'm thinking "why in THE HELL did I answer his message???? To be honest I really didn't even want to have sex,, let alone with him. But bless his heart, he was trying to be all sexy and seductive and it was just NOT working for him. Long story short he ended up just giving me head, cause I was half-way honest and told him that I really didn't want to have sex. I will give Lame some credit,, he does have major skills but not enough for me to want seconds that was a one night thing... So after he finishes his late night snack and we part ways he goes back to facebook trying to discuss it.... I brush it off and take my ass to bed.

The next morning,, AT THE CRACK!!!! *even before my daughter woke up* my phones text alert goes off! It's Lame talking about don't answer any messages from him on facebook because his account got hacked...... Awww shit!!! Now I have been living drama free for a while,, the hoopla had finally ceased after decent died <- That's another post in itself,, all the drama  I went thru about my baby after Decent died....But anyway, I get Facebook AND text messages from some busted ass chick talking about Lame is her man and I better leave him alone and I was just a one night stand. I wanted so badly to tell her "Bitch I don't want yo lame ass nigga, you can have him! Hell he was my one night stand and all he did was give me head!!!!!" But I didn't I just brushed it all off and simply replied with "ok". I guess that wasn't good enough cause the bitch came back in my inbox and my text messages saying she was gonna block me from his page and delete my number out his phone because we didn't need to have any type of contact.....In my head I'm like you stupid hoe!!!!! Your LAME ASS NIGGA lives across the street from me!!!!! Unless you move the great wall of China into my neighborhood and put it in between our houses the nigga is still gonna see me!!!!

Once again I brushed off her ignorance and simply said "ok", then another text came thru basically saying the same shit.. At what point in life do females stop the whole "check this bitch" mentality and start checkin these dudes and since when did female feel they have to check bitches over a lame ass dude????? I just don't get it....


**UPDATE**
I just recently just found out Lame is trying to be a pastor!!!! A fluckin PASTOR!!!!!! He's been preaching at his Daddy's church these past few months and is now trying to get ordained,, but just the other day I got a text from him saying he wants to.....eat the box again.....Ummmm NO I'll pass on that. If the Lord smites me, I'd rather it be over something else and not along the lines of doing the ungodly with a supposed Godly man. So I've really been ignoring him.

My daughter and I were invited to his nieces birthday party this weekend, so I wonder how this will go on many different levels.....cross your fingers that things go off without a hitch!

yes.....I'm sill alive

So much has been going on I've barely had time to breathe. I need some ventilation but while my fingers are typing one thing my brain has moved onto the next thing. It feels like if I don't take out some "me" time I am TOTALLY gonna have a mental breakdown. I just want something to go right for me just once. You know? I mean I know that I'm no saint but can I get some type of positive action my way? it seems like my life just sucks more and more. But any way, just letting those who care that I'm still alive and I haven't forgotten about blogging.

I have so many things I want to tell you in my drafts I don't even know where to start,, every time I start writing out one thing more shit happens. There's been shit going down with my sister, my parents, Basketball (yeah he's still around), my job, school, this creep that lives across the street from me, and the list goes on and on. I'm gonna get back on my game though because I really do need to vent.

Well I need to put this computer down and either study or take my ass to bed, more than likely I'm gonna sit up and watch "Zane's Jump Off" , flip thru the channels and then take my ass to bed.