Confessions of a Side Chick,, at least that's what it feels like.....

Now,, before you judge me I don't mean the kind of side chick like I was with Basketball and Old Man. I guess you can say there's this new age version of side chick that's totally different from "dating" a married man.

This new kind of side chick is still the chick that is temporary,, but she plays temp to a single man that keeps her around until he finds the one HE wants to give his heart,, time,, and loyalty to. I must admit I'm not sure if this particular version of "side chick" is me,, but there are many times I feel like SHE is ME.

I met this cutie a little over a year ago on a social networking site. We completely hit it off. He was so sweet and I just LOVED his accent. Our conversation was nonstop and he made me feel like he actually cared about my day When he asked " how was your day?" or "How's work going?". I had never had anyone ask me something so simple,, and because I had never had that happen I was feeling him more and more.
We'd been talking a couple of months and the question of us finally meeting came up. Of course I was excited, I had actually been ready to meet him face to face after the first couple of weeks of talking.

We make plans for me to come to him (he lives about 500 miles away) it was cool with me cause I actually preferred coming to him. I drive 7hrs and finally the day and time have come for us to see each other. I'm nervous as hell ,, cause honestly I don't even think I'm pretty enough for a guy as cute and just all around attractive as he is. But he takes one look at me smiles and gives me one of the best hugs I had ever had! His strong arms wrapped around me,, slightly lifting my heavy ass off the ground. He just holds me for a few minutes.

I'm just taking it all in: his hair color,, his eyes,, the way he feels,, his scent.........everything little thing about him. I couldn't help but smile to myself. I couldn't help but think that I was actually pretty enough and good enough for him. He finally releases me,, grabs my bags and leads me into his house.

That first visit didn't go too well after one night together and a disagreement I ended up packing my bags and going back home. We didn't talk for a few days after that,, maybe a text here or there but nothing like it was before. Honestly I didn't think things would go back to how they were,, but to my surprise they did.

Time passes and we have a bond closer than ever,, we've even taken some trips out to see each other,, but like always when I think things are good between us,, something goes wrong. This go around....it was something I just wasn't expecting. I'll admit this particular incident still bothers me and it really makes me feel like I should've left a long time ago,, but yet I'm still here.....