I've got a post pending that I just can't find the words to finish it. My mind is going North South East and West and I don't know why?!?!?!? Maybe it's my chemical imbalance that I have. Bestie and I were talking today about my depression and how things were going medicine free, and let me just say it SUCKS!!!! When we were talking I wondered aloud if I had this chemical imbalance all along and the happiness I experienced with the Decent Boyfriend was just artificial and when he died the imbalance was more pronounced or did all this depression and chemical shit with my brain happen when he died????? Hmmmmmm
*ponders this for a moment*
I don't know, I'm just tired of experiencing all these ups and downs. You know,, just feeling all fucked up on the inside...
Honestly I feel crazy and sane all at the same time. Ugh!!!!! I'm so Frustrated!!!!!!!!!!
~posts sign on computer: Back whenever....
*walks away to get a drink*
I suffer from depression as well so I can completely relate. I have a chemical imbalance, heriditary disposition, and situation depression. I've been to a couple of different therapists, but it is always a battle. I took medicine for it for a while because my OCD and depression had gotten so out of control that it was keeping me from doing my job. I got really scared about being on it though. I'm very afraid of beign dependent on medication which further depresses me. My depression has a lot to do with why my engagement didn't work out. I'll say a prayer for the both of us tonight. Strengthening my faith is the only thing that helps me cope.
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