I just don't understand...

Men, boys, or whatever you want to call them are sooooo complicated. I know it's not meant for a women to understand them and how they work. But, dammit I sure wanna know. The guys that I tend to meet are either very cryptic, married or just plain 'ol thirsty!


 There was one guy I STILL can't believe I let myself go out with... he tried to get a little too fresh on our "date" (and this was before we even got a chance to look at the menu!). When we did get a to look at the menu, he opens my menu up to the 2 for $20 selection and says "what do you want?". But, sad part of this date was when the bill came he had to "call the bank" before he could pay. So needless to say I ended up paying for the date and he still tried to get some after all that, talking 'bout "you wanna go back to my place and watch a movie?" Ummm Hell Naw!!!! The nerve of him!.... Ugh!!!


But anyway I don't want to reflect any further on that past incident. Now let's move on to the cryptic and then the married....


Ok so back in January a friend of mine introduced me to a SUPER fine dude that I'll call the Sexy Mexi (because he's half black and mexican). But, anyway, we hit it off the night we met and kept in contact regularly. After about a month of texting and few calls I'm thinking things are going well, we are even making plans to see each other again. But, here's the issue, every time we make plans to get together he always bails out on me...even when he set the date and time. On top of that he will just go missing on me for days at a time. I know he's not obligated to me or anything but how do we go from talking EVERYDAY to an abrupt stop!?!?!? He says he's feeling me but him just going on hiatus without warning is telling me otherwise. I still like him and I would like to see where things could go, but I'm starting question whether or not he's worth the trouble.....what do ya'll think??


Now, on to the married.....
I have 2 married guys that I just can't seem to shake. There's the Old Man and Basketball. The Old Man I for sure don't want,, Basketball, on the other hand, I can see myself with him. In fact, I kinda wish I could be with him :/. I think we would have a good relationship,, even though The Bestie (more on her later) hates...yes HATES him.


 Now, the Old Man came first. I was just getting back to work from maternity leave and he was what I needed in terms of telling me what I wanted to hear in order to mask my grieving and my depression. He's not really attractive but he would do.  He would always validate me even if was a physical validation, you know talking about my thighs, butt, and other various parts. he would tell me how he would fantasize about me and the things he would do if I ever gave him the chance. Eventually things did get to a physical point, but I was so numb from the loss of my boyfriend that I didn't notice that he was catching feelings for me. 
So one day I have a moment of clarity and I tell him that what we were doing was wrong and it had to stop at that very moment. I thought he was taking it well until he said.... "I can't,, I Love You, no I take that back I'm IN love with you". In my head I'm screaming HOW DO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR JUMPOFF!!!! (cause that's basically what I was to him), but I couldn't say anything out loud; I was just standing there looking like a pop-eyed duck. When he gets no response he goes off on me about not accepting his declaration of love and I'm dead to him, don't speak....don't even look his way! That's when I thought it was really over for us because he was so pissed. Well I was WRONG!!!!


I move on and start doing my own thing and I am ok with being by myself and had become content with self validation instead of looking for a man to do it. That state of mind changed when I met Basketball........


To Be Continued..........