August 13, 2012

You're really sweet...but I'm not attracted to you....

^^^^^ The above is how I feel about this guy that I work on the same floor with. He's really nice and sweet and he's been chasing me for 6 years,, I finally gave in and gave him my number,, but I'm just not  all that attracted to him.... 

One thing I don't like is the fact that as SOON as he got my number,, in his book it was ok for him to start hugging and touching and trying to hold my hand and shit. I don't like that!!!! I also hate the fact that Kinkos is trying to get all up in it. She doesn't hide the fact that she likes him... all she can talk about is how fine he is (to her), how nice his car is, and how big his dick is (she claims he didn't lock the bathroom door one day and she walked in while he was pissing). Hmpf!
*I need to give him a blog birth certificate.....I shall name him.......Rush*
Don't get me wrong he's a good guy and stuff like that. I just don't care for the approach. Then I also don't like how he's not even trying to date me,, it's like he want to try to jump straight into a relationship... I'm trying to step outside my box and not just go for the physically attractive dog that will never do right, and try to get to know Rush inspite of the non-existant physical attraction. I'm hoping that I can begin with eventually becoming attracted to what's on the inside and hopefully the internal attraction will have an affect on my eyes.  I mean I'm flattered that after all this time, even with the changes I went thru physically (getting preggo and all), he still finds me just as attractive as a size 12, ok I'm lying.....size 14, as he did when I was a size 4. He even talks about how he thought I was extremely gorgeous when I was pregnant...

I'm REALLY gonna try to give Rush a chance, because in some ways I think he could be good for me. But I will admit that I am scared because, what if I don't ever become attracted to him and he's damn near in love,, then what????? Do I hurt him??? Do I say " I tried to convince myself to be attracted to you and it didn't work....sorry" is that what you say to someone who would probably lick a car tire if you asked him to??? I don't know...

I think things would also be easier if Rush didn't work in the same building as me, Basketball<- whose wife had her baby a few weeks ago,, luckily I haven'y seen him,, I think he's still out on paternity leave. But anyway, where was I ????? Oh yeah Rush works in the same building as Basketball AND............wait for it...................... OLD MAN!!!!!! Basketball really isn't an issue,, the issue would mostly be Old Man trying to possibly sabotage things or just plain ol' getting in the way with this I love You, or the way he says it "I Luh You", shit. I know he shouldn't be a factor in anything as dar as my life goes, but I like to cover the possiblities when it comes to people. I prefer to not be surprised by the idiocracy that I am surrounded by. Also, I don't want Kinkos hatin' ass in my business too. I think I said this or something along those lines already, but anywho.... I really don't want her two cents on anything, and I know because she knows both of us she will be all up in it trying to shell out advice or hate....

Ugh!!! I don't know what I want to do about this whole situation. I really want to try to get to know Rush and give him a chance, but I also don't want to hurt his feelings because I'm not drawn to him like he is to me and then we have to walk around work with that lingering awkwardness and possible anger.

3 comments:

  1. Truthfully, i dont think you should date Rush, especially if you dont see him as attractive. he may be good on paper, but human relationships arent built on paper. and it may also be advisable to not date coworkers too.... but what do i know, its not like i make the best choices regarding romance and relationships. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dating within the office is NEVER a good idea, but I won't lie; I've done it myself more than I care to admit. But as far as the not attracted thing?? I can give you some insight to that... That's EXACTLY how I felt about Mouth when I first met him. He seemed so good on paper and was totally into me regardless of my change in looks and I thought maybe in time I'd be able to see him the same way. Well, years later I feel the exact same non-attraction toward him, but once we got together shaking him became pretty much impossible. It's been a decade and I'm almost 100% he's been stalking me now. So..... I would highly advise against trying to force a non-attraction into an attraction. If the spark isn't there from the start (not even a little spark), then there probably won't be one down the line. And then you might end up in my predicament.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel like I'm in the same predicament. I've been dating a guy who is sooo nice, but I just don't know if being in a relationship with him is what I want. I feel the same way about not wanting to get too deep and end up hurting him....ugh. I don't even know how to give you advice because I don't know what to do myself...

    ReplyDelete