I am NOT You!!!!!

I am really starting to HATE my mother!!!! I know hate is a strong word,, but right about now.....that's how I feel. She is constantly telling me how to raise my daughter and how to interact with her by comparing how she raised and interacted with me and my sister. Now let me just say in my opinion,, considering how fucked up me and my sister are, I don't think I want to do the things that she did. Also, she always expects me to do things to HER liking when it comes to my daughter. From the way I style her hair (which is never ghetto i.e. alot of bows and barrettes,, you know shit like that) to the way that I chose to dress her. 

Oh and don't let me be tired,, I always hear the same shit.... "I was tired to with ya'll,, but I still got done what I needed to get done".... Ummm hello!!!!!! I AM NOT YOU!!!!!!!! Our circumstances are totally different!!! When I was little,, my sister was a little more independent (we are 2yrs apart) so you didn't have to do much when it came to her,, not to mention you have a husband, someone who is legally obligated to us,, when you were sick of us you could punt us off to him.....which she did do,, I remember spending waaaaaay more time with my dad than with her.  

I am so at the end of my rope with her and this bullshit!!!! She is gonna have it to where when I get a little more stable financially I won't ever come home,, and when I finish school,, I'm getting the hell away from her!!! She always finds a way to irritate the fuck out of me and I am just plain 'ol sick of it. And when I do move I dare her to try and take my daughter away!!!!!

*let me explain how she has the power to do that:

When I was pregnant with my daughter I realized that once she was born I would hardly bring home any money once I added her to my insurance so my parents suggested that I do temporary legal guardianship so that she could be on my dad's insurance with full coverage. They, my parents, reassured me that they would not take over and that I would still make whatever decisions I needed to make in regards to her health and well-being. Now pre-birth this sounded really good. I honestly believed what they said.... I know,, that was dumb on my part. Now they are using what they claim they were doing to help me,, against me.... Since they are her legal guardians they can call the police on me if I tried to take her anywhere and they said no. I may be her biological mother,, but LEGALLY my mom is..... 

There are parts of me that say just leave and if she says you can't take the baby,, still leave anyway,, then there's the sensible part of me that knows I would never abandon my daughter just to prove a point,,,,or abandon her period.

I want to get away from my mother and live happily.....